Steve from GamersNexus must be laughing his ass off right now, especially because the stream of GPUs into China wasn’t a very well kept secret thanks to him and his team. If things happen on low levels like buying single GPUs off of private citizens to move them to China, it would be pretty dense to believe that the chinese government doesn’t have a much bigger scheme running.
Large Chinese firms have a bunch (though not a ton) of Nvidia GPUs, so the “end state” is proof too.
It’s hillarious that supporting and enabling crimes against humanity is okay but putting your wee wee in the wrong hole forces you to resign immediately.
What a fucking world we live in.
The wee wee part is the cover up for Nvidia selling chips to China under the restrictions.
TBH nVidia probably said “alright, fuck it, lets make the ethics a bigger story and maybe it will bury the legal issues we’re facing and stop the stock drop.”
Quite probable.
Oh, who is China bombing and starving daily?
They don’t give a shit about that. He made the stock price move the wrong direction and that is unforgivable.
But the stock went down because people care about him putting his wee wee in the wrong hole.
What he did with her is again whatever. It’s the fact that she is connected to China and that might cause problems because of the export bans. Even if his relationship with her was platonic it would still be a problem.
“Meets with Chinese spy” is just as bad of a headline as " fools around with Chinese spy"
It does make for great entertainment, though.
One hole per wee wee, that’s the rule. I don’t make it up.
Line of organized capital must go up.
Fuck humans if line goes up. Fuck humans if line goes down.
Is an old man screaming at the tv at home.Wait. Is this real?
And yes, it’s exhausting and stupid that 10 years in, I’m still asking.
Seriously. I also want to know if it’s real.
Just looked it up, it’s real. In Truth Social.
Edit: if this happens, I propose we call him “Tim Nvidia formerly known as Tim Apple” going forward.
Tim Chips
Holy fuck he actually didn’t call him Tim Apple!
And i do not think that Cook, who is sitting in a very comfortable position where they can profit from the AI boom, but still have a stable basis to return to if the bubble bursts, would like to take that potential bull ride of a job.
I’m guessing he resigned so that people will stop looking into all the other affairs he had lmao
He’ll no doubt still be on the board, still raking in billions. He just won’t be the public face.
Hoping to avoid investigations, I suppose?
Exactly how it works. He sold billions worth of GPUs to China under export restrictions, now he quits, still a billionaire, but Nvidia is absolved of any wrongdoing because it was the bad CEO and his affair. And people wonder why CEOs get paid so much (okay, this one just happened to also be one of the founders of the company and had stock).
Harvey is next:
https://www.inc.com/lucia-auerbach/who-is-harvey-c-jones-nvidia-board-chair/91435445
He’s been on Nvidia’s board since the beginning. Jensen will no doubt remain on the board, he just won’t be the face of the company now.
Jensen Huang Co-founder, President and Chief Executive Officer
Tench Coxe Former Managing Director, Sutter Hill Ventures
John O. Dabiri Centennial Professor of Aeronautics and Mechanical Engineering, California Institute of Technology
Dawn Hudson Former Chief Marketing Officer, National Football League & Former CEO Pepsi-Cola North AmericaHarvey C. Jones Managing Partner, Square Wave Ventures
Melissa B. Lora Former President, Taco Bell International
Stephen C. Neal Chairman Emeritus and Senior Counsel, Cooley LLP
A. Brooke Seawell Venture Partner, New Enterprise Associates
Aarti Shah Former Senior Vice President & Chief Information and Digital Officer, Eli Lilly and Company
Mark A. Stevens Managing Partner, S-Cubed Capital
Suzanne Nora Johnson Former Vice Chairman, The Goldman Sachs Group, Inc.US President Donald Trump has called the Nvidia chief ‘an honorable guy’, while congressional leaders call for investigations into national security risks
Honestly, never mind the scandal, I’d investigate Jenson just on this basis. Almost everyone that Trump has ever called “honorable” has had a skeleton hiding in their closet.
In their closet? Fuck, most of them have been walking around in their Skeletor cosplay, laughing manically while taking candy from babies and punting puppies…
Trump knew about the cheating a year ago. He shorted NVDA waiting for this to blow up and now he’s buying the dip waiting for it to rise again. He’s making hundreds of millions off this and “honorable guy” is his way of projecting that.
Almost everyone that Trump has ever called “honorable” has had a skeleton hiding in their closet.
The rest paraded the skeleton in plain view.
Womp womp, bad choices by another rich cheater. These guys have zero integrity.
Maybe the replacement is gonna give 1% of a shit about the company’s reputation and start selling GPUs to gamers for reasonable prices
Jensen instrumental in price extortion policy of industry, and fraud as to both promoting social overspending, and that the tech leads to broader shared prosperity. Since early 2025, every quarter, datacenter sales of Nvidia chips have been well over announced western client datacenter capacity (sovereign and replacement sales would explain part of this, as would hoarding), and flow to China was likely happening. Plenty of legal SEA datacenters with 90% of traffic routed to China too.
None of this was harm to Nvidia. It’s harm to rest of us through extortionist pricing. Trump corruption is a factor here, but the war on Iran is too. War on Iran needs China’s permission.
NVIDIA announces next CEO will wear a chastity belt.
Males are too emotional. Should stop putting them in positions of authority.
For real
But also, Liz Holmes and Eve Jobs. I do wonder if, when adjusted per capita, CEOs who are women are just as likely to be corrupt…
Patriarchy = men are allowed to do corrupt things more while women are held to higher levels of scrutiny because woman inferior to man. Just look at Kristi Noem, she’s a part of one of the most corrupt admins in U.S. history yet she dare embezzle 143 million out of her 220 million dollar ad campaign? BEGONE, WENCH (still hasn’t been criminally charged though)!
If a matriarchy were allowed to exist where the roles were reversed I assume we’d see a reversal in who is actually allowed to be corrupt.
AI powered chastity belt
(Honestly your comment would make a great The Onion headline, email them)
They will have the first AI CEO.
And how will AI CEO resign and take the heat when it gets caught doing crime?
The idea of a CEO is for there to be a single individual on whom you can pin an organization’s crimes. Then you fire the individual or he resigns, and the company can pretend it cleaned house.
“He evaded us, broke containment, and we believe he has embedded himself inside someone’s smart fridge is Nebraska.”
“We killed that CEO and spun up a new one.” – Company
Yeah, I would fine all the people owning shares of that company a percentage of the share value.
Maybe a Leather No-Jack-It?
NVIDIA introduces the first ever AI CEO … you choose it’s breast size customized to your own preferences
God damn it. Everything is a breasts slider. When are we getting a goddamn dong slider?
I will point out once again for anyone unaware that Cyberpunk 2077 absolutely has a dong slider.
I think the alleged ban evasion and potential smuggling might be the bigger issue.
nobody argues the contrary. what was the hook tho?
HAHAHAHAHAHA WHAT DID I SAY YESTERDAY?
I said yesterday this story gets wilder and wilder.
I can’t wait for the rest of the stories this week.
