I cannot tell you how many times I’ve made a noise on the toilet and been so embarrassed that I actually end up waiting for anyone who heard it to leave, just so I can stay anonymous

I don’t think there will be anyone who objects to this. There is nothing in a bathroom worth listening to. Nobody socializes in a bathroom. It’s as quiet as a library, and any bodily noise completely gives you away

Please just add background music to bathrooms. Even with quiet background music, you could at least strategically defecate to the tempo to make it sound like it’s part of the song

I hate public bathrooms, please make them bearable

  • sircac@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    Or better, made them private enough to prevent large leakages of noise, I have zero joy feeling others presence when using the toilet… privacy is not only visual

  • clutchtwopointzero@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    I overcame this fear by intentionally trying to be noisy (without creating additional noises than the ones that are actually necessary) and owning to it when I leave the bathroom. I also stare back intently if someone stares at me.

  • Hawke@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    just so I can stay anonymous

    Do you normally feel a need to introduce yourself to everyone with whom you share a bathroom briefly?

    • Tanis Nikana@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      Every time I walk into a bathroom, I do a meet and greet with all the other women there. We have little ice breakers, such as names, zodiac signs, bristol stool scale number, and food that brought us here!

      The last time I used the bathroom, I said “hey, I’m Tanis, not sure what my sign is, I think I’m about to poop a four on the scale, and I’m here because that chicken fried steak is about to push out last night’s burrito, lovely to meet you all.”

    • insanemantis@lemmy.worldOP
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      2 days ago

      No but people will see me. They aren’t blind

      If people have to see me walk out of a bathroom stall, I’d rather they not have heard my noises

      • Hawke@lemmy.world
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        2 days ago

        Yeah but no one will know your name. You remain anonymous, so does it matter?

        Work bathrooms are one grey area though.

        • insanemantis@lemmy.worldOP
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          2 days ago

          I do go to a work bathroom. That’s actually what forced me to overstay my 15 minute break by a few minutes and subsequently inspired my post

          • Hawke@lemmy.world
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            1 day ago

            Yeah that makes some sense, although people can usually tell who’s in the stall anyway.

  • susieq0044@sh.itjust.works
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    2 days ago

    In Ancient Rome, public loos were holes in large plates of marble, everybody just sat (shat?) next to one another, there were no cubicles or walls. People conversed happily about business and family, squeezing and a huffing and a puffing. I always have to think about that, as I let go loud trumps and farts or liquid gas - shamelessly- in a public toilet. Lay back and enjoy! Taking a good crap is an integral part of human life; be proud of your achievement.

    • TwoTiredMice@feddit.dk
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      2 days ago

      Guys from my high School went to the restroom together and shat together. The restroom had 20 toilets or something and they would talk together as the Romans did.

      If one of them could make a poop so long it touched the water before slipping the butt (my English is really challenged here, haha. No idea if that sentence made any sense) they would shout “touchdown!” and he would the king of poop for that day.

      • susieq0044@sh.itjust.works
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        2 days ago

        Are you from a Nordic country perhaps? They are all Badass. I once visited communist Bulgaria. Toilets next to the highway consisted of a circular gutter with a pole in the middle. Patrons would jointly drop their pants, crouch down, hold the pole and aim your buttocks at the gutter. Enough place for 4-5 guys; but we didn’t converse much, due to the heavy diet, everybody was concentrating and had red faces from the effort. No need for background music when you grunt.

    • insanemantis@lemmy.worldOP
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      2 days ago

      When I hear someone make noises in a bathroom stall, I (unwillingly) get vivid imagery of their sphincters moving as air or feces comes out

      I have no idea if my noises will make other people imagine mine or not

      I’m just private when it comes to that stuff. I don’t really enjoy… “existing,” to other people, whenever I defecate

  • simulacra_procession@lemmy.today
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    1 day ago

    I’m imagining one of those music-playing-after-car-crash memes but instead it’s someone violently shitting their brains out to a very nonchalant and soft tune that is definitely not loud enough

  • boobookittyfrick@lemmy.zip
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    1 day ago

    Usually when I’m in a public bathroom I’m listening to the guy next to me giving birth to a butt baby and all the wet plops that go with it.

    • insanemantis@lemmy.worldOP
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      1 day ago

      Plops are the worst, I wish I didn’t have to hear those. Makes me vividly imagine their poop being squeezed out of their anus

      • boobookittyfrick@lemmy.zip
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        23 hours ago

        When I was younger I got curious and watched my butthole fart in the mirror and now whenever I hear a fart I picture their butthole

        • insanemantis@lemmy.worldOP
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          20 hours ago

          I mean, a fart literally is what it is and sounds like what it sounds like precisely because of the anus having the shape that it has. Can’t really unsee that

          • boobookittyfrick@lemmy.zip
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            19 hours ago

            It doesn’t just stay in one place tho. It opens up for a seconds and vibrates… sometimes it squeezes shut a bit just before the big reveal