Close them anyways and gaslight them when they complain. Tell them to open another ticket and repeat. This is called the Sisyphus method.

I just make stuff up until people realize I’m lying. That usually ends any further contact.

Now I know how to redo my bathroom

Not me cause I chug the whole thing piping hot. Really burns up my mouth but what can you do?

Got footage of their first recruits at boot camp:

Lol optimizing! Yeah I guess they eventually fix their bugs sometimes.

Basically they bought 70% of the shares but they aren’t even the good ones.

Time to start my covert Detroit river crossing business

It’s LA, nobody drives there, they all just sit in traffic.

If you want higher crime pay the criminals better!

He’s lucky there wasn’t salami on it. They are allowed to use lethal force on meatball subs too.

MBAs have destroyed the world. We used to have good paying jobs and affordable rent.

Beware! Detroit is full of lions and they will peck at you with their beak and swoop in to snatch your coney. I recommend every visitor bring an atlatl with them.

Ranchers prefer mustache rides.

If you see a farmer today give em a squeeze

I throw it up in the air and hit it with the cleaver twice, perfectly diced everytime

How do you know when someone is a non-carbon eater? Don’t worry they will tell you.

I hope the next president raze it to the ground like he did with out government.

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