All the things the cops would want this bot to do are prohibited by rules or by the potential for public outrage; no facial recognition, no offensive capabilities, it’s basically just a camera drone. But that will change when the rules change, or when people stop paying attention… if this thing can avoid being trashed for more then ten minutes after it’s deployed.

“Whoa, this thing is trashed, it’s basically useless now.”

Condition: Untested

Partly it’s convenience, but I think the main reason is you can get cheddar and bacon flavored spray cheese.

“Dammit kid, take the deal – we really need that cream cheese back here.”

“All right fellow rebels… now that we’ve all infiltrated the Empire by joining as Storm Troopers, it’s time to enact our plan.”

“Aim to miss, sir?”

“You’re goddamn right.”

In the grimdark future there can be no grass roots, only astroturf.

“I’ve learned my lesson, judge.”

“It’s a trick. Get an axe.”

Silicon Valley is where all the VCs are. They make a lot of their funding decisions based on whether they like hanging around with a founder or not. You’re more likely to get money out of them if you’re fun to drink beers with than if you have a great business plan.

I guess this means I’ll need yet another, different colored wastebin just for coffee now. I mean I’ll do it if it helps, but I can only fit so many receptacles in my kitchen. Meh, I’ll just put the rest in the twins’ room.

fire everyone + break everything = the everything app

“I’ve had one of my trademark changes of heart.”

“Skynet was developed to be the command and control system for the military food delivery robots.”

Turns out it was kids who were bad for kids all along.

Fork.

“What-is-the-mean-ing-of-this-neg-a-tive?”

I knew someone who like to use flat Earthism to illustrate that there’s little point in debating someone who has no interest in being persuaded. He’d basically state the Earth is flat and use every rhetorical trick in the book to defend his position, exhaust his opponent, and then say, “Could you imagine how frustrated you’d be if I actually believed any of that?” He eventually got his DDS of all things, but I thought he’d make a good lawyer.

F That Daily Mail

“I can’t leave Twitter – all my followers are there.”

“I can’t leave Twitter – all the people I follow are there.”