• 0 Posts
  • 16 Comments
Joined 4 months ago
cake
Cake day: June 11th, 2025

help-circle
  • I’d recommend reading the book Influence by Robert Cialdini. It talks about six mechanisms that are most effective in making people do things, one of which is reciprocity. Getting something from someone makes us significantly more likely to do something for them.

    You might believe you’re above these mechanisms of influence, and you may truly be mindful enough to avoid a lot of them, but these things work on our psyche at a deep level and it’s unlikely you’re immune to them.

    All of this to say that if you’re ever in a place to accept money or things from people you disagree with or don’t like, think reeeally hard about whether you’d be willing to eventually compromise on your values for that freebie. Because you might eventually find yourself doing that unconsciously.




  • My company has started using a survival metaphor of air/water/food.

    • Air - “keep the lights on” work; things that will fundamentally stop the product or business (legal, compliance, security) if not done in the next year
    • Water - foundational work; tech debt is here
    • Food - strategic work, new features, experimentation

    It works because it recognizes that you need all three to survive and you have different time scales on which you can survive without them.

    We will choose not to drink water sometimes to make sure we can eat some food. But we will die if we only consume food.

    I’m on the product side and trying to buy my teams as much capacity to pay off some of our wayyyy overdue tech debt, and this metaphor has made it easier to convey where we are to my higher ups.








  • I see the joke you’re making but also if you genuinely want to understand and possibly gain some empathy for these people, I’d suggest reading The Cult of Trump. It’s from 2019 so it doesn’t include a ton of awful stuff that’s happened since then, but it does a great job of contextualizing how people can fall into these belief patterns.

    It was written by a man who fell into a cult in his early 20s, found his way out, and has built his career around helping others out of cults and cult-like mindsets.






  • This is so bizarrely different from my experience. I would bet 90% of women in my generation (millennial) who ever spent time in a mall think of Claire’s as the default place to get your ears pierced. And naturally then, to get new earrings or other jewelry.

    As a teen, it was a default stop on the mall circuit every weekend; it’s where my sister and I both got our ears pierced when we turned 13, and where I got jewelry for prom and BFF keychains with friends before going off to college. I was far from popular; I was the nerd who sat at the front of the bus and read a book to avoid my bullies, etc. I only even had friends to go to the mall with as a teen because I went to a college preparatory high school where almost everyone else was a nerd, too. But despite my lowly status on the social totem pole, Claire’s was a staple.