…now I want to open 10 different calanders at once. In different colors. But only use the pink one. I’ll close the other 9, and grumble “GOD DAMN COMPUTER!!! WHY DON’T THEY FIX THIS SHIT???”

And again…only use the pink one.

grabs popcorn

UFC is over rated.

My first computer was 33htz. Ran Windows 3.1. And Warcraft 2.

So yeah. The perfect computer.

You ever stand at a bus stop for 20 minutes across the street from a highway with an exit ramp that has a light at the street?

They walk up and down the exit ramp as it has a red light. Walking car to car. Roughly 1 in 5 give money. The light lasts about 2 minutes. Which means every 4 minutes he has a new set of cars exiting the highway. That means there’s 15 light cycles in a 60 minute time period, assuming the city doesn’t have automated changes at set intervals (some lights do).

So lets say he gets 1 in 5. And lets set the number real low. Lets say he only gets $3 on average every light change.

That’s $45 dollars an hour. Which is actually shooting low when you consider people like my aunt. Who gave the guy $20. Those people aren’t the norm. But they exist, and would bring up the average easily.

Then there’s other times I’d see several light changes where nobody gave him anything.

Point is, $40 for that type of a scam, with no overhead, no expenses, no payroll, nothing, is pretty low. It’s probably more, but I don’t have exact numbers. I just see him whenever I catch a certain bus.

The fact that he has a nice car makes me think he either has a second passive income, or I’m WAY undershooting it.

Because I’m pretty sure those nice sports cars are like 100k. Even $40/hr I don’t think would cover that.

Hickory Dickory Dock, Santa pulled out his cock. When he told her to suck, Mrs Claus said “I’d rather we fucked” Hmmm, I think we’re all in luck.

So he was giddy with glee, but what did he see? Something that made all his hopes melt. Mrs Claus shoved him on the bed, dressed in all red, and stuffed him in a chastity belt.

Santa asked “What is this? What are you doing?” Mrs Claus said “Shhhh, tonight I’ll do the screwing!” Then Santas eyes went wide, what he saw he could have cried, as Mommy Claus pulled out a strapon.

With fright on his face, and a tear in his eye, Santa got on all fours, he wanted to die. Mommy Claus said, “Oh stop pouting, I’ll be in and out. Lasting in bed is something you know nothing about. So take lessions old man, write this down, because from now on Santa only cums once a year, but tonight he’s cumming to town!”

What I have found is that being smarter isn’t always a good thing.

When I was a teenager, I LOVED the WWF (now WWE).

It was just fun absurd crazy entertainment with a lot of showmanship and variety. There were unique characters. There were engaging stories. All wrapped around the core concept that every character wants the title belt.

Flash forward 30 years. Watching those same exact shows now? All I can see is “Oh, that’s hulk hogan. He insulted his own daughter saying she sleeps with (n-words).”

“Oh, that’s Chris Beniot. He kills his wife, his 7 year old son, and then himself, after drugging them into a coma.”

“Oh, that’s Vince McMahon. He’s in the midst of raping women and getting away with it.”

“Oh, that’s The Great Moolah. She has been at this point keeping women in a prostitution ring. Forcing them to travel the roads with the WWF, but sleep with men for money, and then she takes the money. If they don’t, she beats them.”

And you could say “Oh, but you’re just talking about pro wrestling. That’s irrelevant to life.”

Which is exactly why I chose it as a noncontroversial example. The same concept happens in every other aspect of life. When you’re stupid, you just accept things, and things just happen around you. You’re just happy to be alive.

But when you start getting smarter, you begin to realize that every aspect of your life is controlled and manufactured off of the suffering of others. Child labor made your sneakers. Slavery picked the chocolate in your cookies. And even your life exists soley to produce profit by paying you a teeny tiny fraction of what the billionaire who owns the company you work for. Forcing you to live paycheck yo paycheck, just so you can put all your earnings back into the ecconomy. And when you think of it from that perspective, you are a wage slave. You earn a paycheck, but that paycheck goes right back to things to keep you alive.

When I was 20, I didn’t see that. I just thought “Aw sweet! There’s $20 left over after bills! We can buy some beer!”

Now I think “Only $20? Damn. I can’t save ANY money…”

I was happier before I saw my suffering for what it is.

I mean…yes?

I’d vote for that.

Yeah. I saw him begging for 3 weeks. Then one day he walked across the street to the parking lot, and got in a red sports car.

Doctors after my scan: “Oh my god! I’ve never seen such an old brain! This man must be 163 years old! He must be under a lot of stress to have aged so much!”

“I’m 41…”

It’s been 7 hours…I think this guy passed out.

I know in my city I’ve seen a “homeless” guy beg for money, with a cardboard sign. Then goes and gets into his sports car and drives off.

And that got me thinking. Most people who give, don’t give a dollar. They give a few dollars. So lets just say they get about $40 in an hour.

That’s $40 untaxed. And there’s nothing stopping them from just doing this all day. Remember, I’m not talking about actual homeless people. I’m talking about scam beggers.

Imagine doing $40 an hour average, for 10 hours, every day, for doing nothing. Set your own schedule. Never gotta worry about being late. Can’t get fired. Practically zero costs to start this business. You need a piece of cardboard, a marker, and MAYBE a folding chair.

So yeah. I’d say it’s an industry. An unregulated, scam, borderline illegal industry.

Or we could free Luigi, and get the real thing!

That dreaded taskbar strikes again!

I’d love to have seen his reaction. He either appologized 1000 times and felt stupid, OR he got angry and threatened the IT guy for making him look stupid.

There is no inbetween.

WHO downvoted this, and why do you hate amazing things???

Kaley Cuoco has put on some weight since the big bang theory ended.

The part where it was a scam that was dead on arrival.

Out of the loop here. Is this that new trump phone?

"Hey honey, sorry about the late night call. I just wanted to check in to say I love you.

Hey, on an unrelated note, there is an orgy happening in my room. Like 13 people have DEMANDED to suck my dick since I checked in. And so far 3 women have had strapons. You know I can’t last here! You KNOW how easily I submit to strong women with strapons! Ok, love you byeeeeee, mistress chloe is calling from down the hall…"

…oh no.

New phrase just dropped!