• GrymEdm@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        11
        arrow-down
        11
        ·
        edit-2
        3 days ago

        I have no idea what’s going on with either of your responses (digging into what exactly?), but ok.

        • minnow@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          34
          arrow-down
          1
          ·
          3 days ago

          There definitely are females out there

          The use of “females” here is objectifying, and generally frowned upon. Here’s a way to avoid this mistake in the future: replace “females” with the word “people” and if it works grammatically and in the context of what you’re saying (eg, you’re not talking about animals) then you should be using “women” instead of “females.”

          • GrymEdm@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            5
            arrow-down
            22
            ·
            edit-2
            3 days ago

            Thank you for clarifying, I appreciate it. I didn’t know that, but I’m not going to stop using the word “female” for reasons I put in another post just above.

            • ShareMySims@sh.itjust.works
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              27
              arrow-down
              6
              ·
              3 days ago

              “Thanks for explaining why using this word in that way is problematic and makes the people it is attempting to describe uncomfortable, but I don’t actually give a shit and will continue to use it regardless” 🙄

            • minnow@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              6
              ·
              edit-2
              3 days ago

              I’m not telling you to stop using the word altogether, just trying to help you understand why some uses are inappropriate and will garner ire from others. It’s fine if you want to say “well that’s their problem” but alternatively you could try to have some empathy. Broadly speaking, being considerate of others rarely requires anything of you, and helps make the world a better place.

              But if that’s asking too much, I understand.

              Edit to add: this applies to the usage of “males” and “females” equally. By continuing to use this terms inappropriately, you’re not somehow promoting equality, you’re just being stubborn about using hurtful language.

              • minnow@lemmy.world
                link
                fedilink
                English
                arrow-up
                4
                ·
                3 days ago

                I’m not telling you to stop using the word altogether, just trying to help you understand why some uses are inappropriate and will garner ire from others. It’s fine if you want to say “well that’s their problem” but alternatively you could try to have some empathy. Broadly speaking, being considerate of others rarely requires anything of you, and helps make the world a better place.

                But if that’s asking too much, I understand.

                Edit to add: this applies to the usage of “males” and “females” equally. By continuing to use this terms inappropriately, you’re not somehow promoting equality, you’re just being stubborn about using hurtful language.

                Edit 2: It’s possible that your usage of “male” wasn’t problematic, I’d have to see the post. But if it was problematic, and others didn’t call it out, that’s a failure on their part. I don’t see why the hypocrisy of others should excuse your inappropriate usage of if certain words, that feels very… Whataboutism, perhaps? Anyway, I get why you’re frustrated. Sorry you’re dealing with that, but please don’t be a bad person just to spite others. You’re obviously smart and caring, and I think you can do better if you wanted to.

          • GrymEdm@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            14
            arrow-down
            15
            ·
            edit-2
            3 days ago

            Well, thank you for clarifying at least. I’m not changing the wording. Let me be clear, I’m definitely not blaming you for being helpful - I appreciate at least knowing. However, if someone reads my post supporting and valuing women and the thing they comment on is the word “female” as if that makes me an incel misogynist, then I don’t really care. I wrote a post in this thread about the radicalization of men, and I used the word “male” 4 times. 31 upvotes, no downvotes (at time of posting) and no one had issue with “male”.

            I support women and I never ever use the actually pejorative terms, but I’m not stopping using the word female. Incels use the word “women” too all the time btw. There’s even the famous coffee meme that uses the word “women” and I hate it because I’m a gamer and it’s always used in gamer communities to mock women.

            Edit: After thought and given how people seem upset, I won’t post on this forum anymore. I’m sure there are some who will think “Bye - no loss” and it’s their right to do so and tell me so if they want. I don’t like that my obvious intent was overridden by the use of a very common word and it feels like a minefield I’m not interested in navigating. That “female” is an ok adjective but a really offensive noun just seems odd, especially when the equally-misused “woman” is fine. Hateful people say words hatefully and if you let them claim words there won’t be any left. I’d never hear something like “males are being pulled to the extreme right” and wonder if they mean humans (aka dehumanizing). In a lifetime spent with female friends and decades on boards like Reddit and Lemmy this is the very first time it’s been an issue. I have other thoughts but they’re not helpful so I’ll just say adios.

            P.S. I’ll keep on supporting women in other places. I believe strongly that the only ethical position is that a person be judged by their character, and determined fit for any role by their capabilities as opposed to genitalia, ethnicity, preferred sexuality, etc. Regardless of people telling me they know my beliefs better than I do, I actually know what I believe - biases of all kinds must be fought, especially now.

            • vzq@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              20
              arrow-down
              6
              ·
              edit-2
              3 days ago

              I’m a gamer

              Yeah, saw that one coming.

              Anyway, you can say “female” as an adjective all day. It’s the noun that has really icky nonhuman connotations.

              • GrymEdm@lemmy.world
                link
                fedilink
                English
                arrow-up
                10
                arrow-down
                15
                ·
                3 days ago

                Stop trying to force misogyny on me. It’s crazy that I tried so hard to convey the fact that women are valuable and needed, and now because of one word and the fact I play video games (and have for 25 years) you’re posting “got you” replies like I’m sexist.

                • ShareMySims@sh.itjust.works
                  link
                  fedilink
                  English
                  arrow-up
                  15
                  arrow-down
                  5
                  ·
                  3 days ago

                  Stop trying to force misogyny on me.

                  Stop doubling down on misogyny then. You might not have known initially, but you do now, and no longer have an excuse.

                  It’s crazy that I tried so hard to convey the fact that women are valuable and needed

                  Perhaps if you didn’t double down on your refusal to use human terms when talking about human women, you might come across more like someone who genuinely cares, rather than someone virtue signalling for a pat on the back.

                  • GrymEdm@lemmy.world
                    link
                    fedilink
                    English
                    arrow-up
                    9
                    arrow-down
                    10
                    ·
                    edit-2
                    3 days ago

                    you might come across more like someone who genuinely cares, rather than someone virtue signalling for a pat on the back.

                    Nope. I’m going to continue supporting women as equal to men, I’ll use male and female as terms to describe both, and if I do so without your approval so be it. I know where I stand as someone who cares about people regardless of gender and recognizes women’s rights still have a way to go (and are under attack especially now). As such I don’t mind you trying to tear down my honest support as virtue signalling because it’s just not true.

                • vzq@lemmy.world
                  link
                  fedilink
                  English
                  arrow-up
                  11
                  arrow-down
                  4
                  ·
                  edit-2
                  3 days ago

                  My man. I’ve been playing games for 40. But I don’t identify as “a gamer” because, yeah, that.

                  Anyway, yes, the words you choose convey meaning. Pick the ones that convey the meaning you want, or live with the meaning you convey.

            • prettybunnys@sh.itjust.works
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              5
              arrow-down
              1
              ·
              3 days ago

              Your moral high ground eroded when you vociferously said it was everyone else who was wrong about the current connotation of the word.