Growing up weird and poor in a very conservative and arrogant part of the prairies, I was bullied relentlessly. The teachers never did anything unless it was me fighting back, to which it was suspension and I was a bad kid.
As high school came along, I grew more and more violent to the point I wasn’t a loser or a tough guy, but a snap case. The other kids thought I was edgy, the parents thought I was bound for prison, and the teachers probably had a beer when I dropped out.
My mom didn’t know what to do. And this was in a time where if your kid was in therapy, it’s was your failure as a parent. Combined with my disgust at the idea that I was what was broken, it was off the table. It wasn’t until I was in my twenties that I went for psychological help.
By then, I was so suicidal and gone that I wouldn’t be near ok until my late thirties. In my mid forties now, I look back and see myself as the potential shooter. I’m holding back my emotions right now, thinking of it. Fortunately, there were no guns at my disposal back, back then is how I feel looking back. I don’t know if I’d be able to hurt anyone like that, but I’d fuck myself up.
I lay a lot of blame on a system that allowed it to happen. In a community where open racism and homophobic views were the norm at the time, teachers were as judgmental as the students in some situations. Now maybe if I were white, it’d be easier, but even the broke white kids didn’t get any breaks. Especially from the teachers.
Look at me go, a meme has me fucked up thinking back and dumping online. But yeah, there it is.
I’d like to close by saying the town I grew up in is a far different place now. I’ve moved back and feel good here. I see teachers and bullies who don’t make eye contact, will not recognize me at all (which is my favorite) and the occasional happy to see you moments. I don’t communicate well in public these days, so it makes it ultra awkward, much like being in high school, talking to students you barely know.
Glad you are okay, my guy.
I currently work part-time as a bus driver and I just wanna say that it’s incredibly hard to determine who is right or wrong when you didn’t see what happened and you’re just going by what each kid says. If you only see the tail end of a fight, you might wrongfully think the kid retaliating is the bully. 99% of the time it’s easier to just separate the kids and/or punish them both equally since it’s impossible to determine who the victim and the perpetrator is. It sucks, it feels really bad, but that’s the reality of the situation.
Can any Americans confirm or refute whether US schools actually punish you for getting beaten up regardless of whether you tried to defend yourself? It sounds way too stupid to be true yet I hear about it again and again.
Also what the hell happened to Stand Your Ground that the US is so infamous for? That doesn’t apply to children who are victims of assault and battery?
My daughter was so bullied, we had to pull her out of public school and put her in online school. The school did virtually nothing about it no matter how much we pleaded with them. Even when a girl doxxed her and started prank calling her the school gave both her and my daughter a talking to as if it was my daughter’s fault and that was it.
You might have had bad teachers and bad admin, true - but more likely, the school can’t do anything.
I’m a teacher, and I cannot tell you how incredibly frustrated I am at how tied my hands are. The admin can’t do much, either.
My options: talk sternly to the student. Talk sternly to the parent/guardians. And… that’s it.
Send them to the office? Sure. The principal also has those two options, for the most part. Suspending students is something we only do in very rare circumstances, but they really, really try to avoid it, because so often, kids are acting out because of stuff at home, so suspending them only makes the behaviour worse.
We can’t do detentions after school or on weekends - we can’t force parents to bring their kids in then. Lunch hour detentions, we can’t afford dedicated staff to run them, especially since we’d also need them to chase the students down, because it’s not like they’ll go just because they were told to. We can’t fail students any more.
Our district has also even gotten rid of prizes for achievements - no more honor roll, no awards, nothing. Apparently this makes the low performers feel bad, and we couldn’t have that.
And talking to the parents? Most parents are honestly great, but also, I never talk to them, because the kids with the great parents, I never need to call home. The asshole kids? Their parents are almost always a nightmare. And it’s a waste of time to talk to them.
One kid last year, went after another kid’s field trip paperwork with a pair of scissors. Ripped into her like no one’s business. Sent an email home describing the situation. I was pretty sure, based on her history, she wasn’t really going to destroy his stuff, she was trying to get a rise out of him, so I said something like, “while I believe she was only intending to annoy him, not actually destroy property, it is critical for her to understand that this is absolutely unacceptable behaviour” or something like that.
So rather than telling her kid off, mom goes to the principal to try to get me in trouble for calling her kid annoying.
In application? Doesn’t matter what the teachers or even admin want to do. The district, province/state, and country have taken away practically every carrot and stick, when it comes to students with extreme behavior.
It’s a huge mess.
I can understand all of that, but when one kid doxxes another and starts making prank calls, which we provided evidence of- we had logs and voicemails- and the administration admonishes both kids, that’s on them, not on anyone else. They didn’t have to lecture my daughter about bullying the other girl when she was the one being attacked.
In that case, yeah, you’ve got an admin problem. I’m sorry - that really sucks. The entire system desperately needs an overhaul. The education system in Canada is a dumpster fire, and the US is even worse. Dealing with behavioral issues is one of many major problems…
Their geopolitics is the same. Fucking shithole nation.
Bro, I was the biggest bully in grade school. It made me popular with the girls and that’s why I mostly did it. And I was tall, so it just made things easier.
