Independent Minnesota US Senate candidate Marisa Simonetti, 32, has been sentenced to three months in the Hennepin County workhouse after throwing a live tarantula onto the staircase leading to her tenant’s living space in Edina. She was convicted of gross misdemeanour harassment and misdemeanour domestic assault and will serve her 90-day sentence on school and work release. The court also ordered her to serve two years of probation and submit a written apology to the victim.
Simonetti’s sentence comes as she campaigns for a seat in the US Senate, hoping to replace Tina Smith in the November 2026 Minnesota election. Her candidacy has drawn further attention after a video she posted of herself confronting a Girl Scout and the child’s mother over selling cookies without a permit went viral, putting her own conduct under public scrutiny.
Wait…does the Girl Scout organization not secure legal clearance at all for its scouts to sell? Or is she just a complete moron?
She’s perfect for US Senate except for being about 50 years too young.
There’s a whole video of this floating around on the internet. I usually don’t go in for videos that look like the old Cops show, but that one is worth a watch.
The woman she was harassing was renting out the basement of the house through Airbnb because she was fleeing domestic violence.
Simonetti didn’t even own the property. She was illegally subletting the basement. The cops showed up and Simonetti was so crazy that the cops weren’t having it.
And she’s a 32 year old landlord too.
Really not fair to the tarantula, who asked for none of this.
Tarantula are wildly intelligent. Like, smart dog intelligent.
I love tarantulas. My first-ever job was at a pet store and I used to let a large rose-hair chill with me at the register, crawling on my shoulder or head or whatever. Watching people coming in to buy dog food and shakily throwing their money in my direction was a bonus.
For this reason I still get uneasy feelings whenever I watch Home Alone and Kevin grabs the tarantula. There’s a scene after it’s on Joe Pesci where you can tell it got injured during the shoot because it’s limping.
Like, “sit”, “stay”, and “fetch me a cigarette”?! I want video of this
I was wondering where the animal abuse charges were in all this.
Her candidacy has drawn further attention after a video she posted of herself confronting a Girl Scout and the child’s mother over selling cookies without a permit went viral, putting her own conduct under public scrutiny.
The tarantula thing wasn’t enough?
Glad to read that this was a Senate “Candidate” and not a “Senator”, though there are more than a few who are just as jackassed.
Feel kinda bad for the tarantula though.
Poor Tarantula.
I know they’re not fucking toys. They’re lovely animals too.
Smarter than some dogs.
I wonder why she’s running as an independent. Couldn’t be more qualified to be a Republican.
Although she initially launched her political career as a Republican and lost two Hennepin County Board races in 2024, the local 3rd Congressional District GOP committee withdrew its endorsement following her 2024 arrest, stating she ‘does not reflect our values’.
The GOP kicked her out for bad behavior. She’s too much for the addicts and pedophile warmongers.
The bodycam footage of the incident is wild. She’s a complete and total piece of shit.
Showed the headline to a friend and asked him what he thought she did for a living.
‘Realtor’ was his first guess.
She’s even worse than that, she’s a professional parasite. She runs a “home buying firm,” which means she routinely fucks people out of an average of $50,000 per transaction. To accomplish this, she uses media (TV, billboards, print, social) to convince homeowners of a lie (they will make the same if not more money using homebuyer services than using the conventional real estate process) by telling them a truth (the transaction will be fast and they will have money in their hands in just a few days).
It’s an amazing feat of leveraging human desire to absolutely fuck the dogshit out of them: they willingly believe the lie because they want the money in their hands quickly and in so doing, they get fucked out of five figures.
also blared loud Christian music
Simonetti, a local real estate businesswoman who runs a house-buying firm
Jfc this article just gets worse and worse
AI slop thumbnail though
Tarantulas aren’t cheap pets. That’s definitely sending a message.
They’re also incredibly delicate animals :(
For the curious, falling more than a few inches is often fatal due to a burst abdomen.
Oh no, poor thing
Wow, attacking girl scouts AND THEN POSTING THE VIDEO YOURSELF. Completely lost the plot.
Fun overview of that girl scout video
US Senate Candidate Who Confronted Girl Scout and Mother for Selling Cookies Without a Permit
Oh, yeah, she’s in lockstep with the community on this one. Hatred of Girls Scouts crosses all lines, we can all agree on this.
fucking /s
