• TwistedCister@lemm.ee
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    4 days ago

    I’m old enough to remember when the advice people gave to deal with a bully was “Beat their ass and they’ll stop.”

    But bullies somehow changed the narrative to where fighting back was wrong. It’s not. Self defense is never wrong. The only people that argue this are bullies.

    Some people only speak the language of violence, and if you want them to understand your reply it must be delivered in a way they understand.

    Bullies do not self correct their behavior. They find it rewarding and it continues until they are stopped.

    • TheLowestStone@lemmy.world
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      4 days ago

      But bullies somehow changed the narrative to where fighting back was wrong.

      I grew up in the age of zero tolerance policies in school which meant you would get suspended for fighting back no matter the circumstances. I blame those policies for the shift.

      • Fredselfish@lemmy.world
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        4 days ago

        Same motherfucker policy was responsible for getting me suspended when I fought back against a bully he hit me from behind knocking me down.

        But I remember in middle school had a bully kept picking at me. My dad said the next time he did it to beat the shit out of him. So he was flicking my ear during study hall. So I threw his ass down the blenchers and then beat the fuck of him.

        He never messed with me, nor did any other bullies. And I am no fighter and wasn’t strong. I found over the years most bullies are just weak ass pussies and that break down if you give any resistance.

        • grrgyle@slrpnk.net
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          3 days ago

          Very similar story here when moving somewhere while ESL. Got singled out on the first day and it’s like I had a bully magnet on my back. I was so confused, because this had never happened to me before. I’m actually thankful to the one but kid who shoved me, because I lost it on him (I think I took out my culture shock on him lol).

          Anyway I wasn’t big enough to cause any real damage. I was a slight little guy, even for my age, but I guess trying my best to tear this kid’s ear off made an impression, because I never ever got bullied again.

          Actually I remember bullies standing up for me, which I’m sure could have been a whole different career path if I was interested in acquiring henchmen rofffl.

        • TexasDrunk@lemmy.world
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          4 days ago

          Same here with dad. I handled my shit in the 4th grade a single time. Bullies at my school remembered and I got left alone. I got suspended and dad got me ice cream because I was standing up for myself.

          Several years later some bullies from another school who didn’t know me tried pulling some shit in the wrong place. Not school grounds so there were no policies stopping us. I had just turned old enough to drive. A group of them tried their luck and started talking shit. So I pulled out my tire tool and started swinging. I didn’t hit anyone. I just came out looking crazy and they went on their way.

          This will not be everyone’s experience, but in mine you just have to look insane enough that no one doubts you’ll try to maim them.

          • Fredselfish@lemmy.world
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            4 days ago

            My dad got me ice cream too. He was proud of me. And no at that school bully me again. Just had to teach that same lesson at each new school.

        • masterofn001@lemmy.ca
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          4 days ago

          It is amazing the sort of strength and force months or years of repressed rage can unleash on someone who deserves it.

        • SabinStargem@lemmy.today
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          4 days ago

          I really hope that the Trump Regime is made from that bullying cloth. As a weak person who wants to oppose the regime, I would like to walk away more or less intact.

          Still, one has to do what must be done. Bullies would take passivity as a license to abuse.

      • BetaBlake@lemmy.world
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        4 days ago

        Yeah our millennial era zero tolerance horseshit was such garbage. I saw kids get suspended because they got punched. That kinda injustice was asking for kids to snap, when in reality kids should have been given a firm handshake for defending themselves.

        • Zealousideal_Fox_900@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          4 days ago

          Anyone who did school from 2005-2015ish remembers some variation of “tell a teacher, don’t fight them back” etc. 199% responsible for this shitty version of society where self defense is basically not a concept any more.

      • NABDad@lemmy.world
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        4 days ago

        In the age of zero tolerance, my son discovered that the school security will respond to fights, but not punches.

        He had someone bullying him in high school, making fun of him for having a big nose. Told the guy he was done, and didn’t want to hear it anymore, and said if he said one more thing, there’d be trouble.

        The guy opened his mouth again, my son stood up, punched him in the face, and sat back down. There was a security guard walking by at the time, and he saw it, and just kept walking.

        I’ve felt my son’s punches in karate class, so my first reaction when he told me about it was to ask if I should prepare for a visit from the police, but he said he pulled the punch.

        No one ever said anything about his nose again.

        It amazed me that anyone would ever consider bullying him. 6’5" tall, solid muscle, about 12 years of Karate classes. It seemed like bullying him would be obviously suicidal, but he is a good kid who didn’t want to hurt anyone, so bullies irrationally thought he was an easy target.

      • frog_brawler@lemmy.world
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        4 days ago

        I think you’re right. I grew up right before that… got bullied a lot until about 6th grade. Got into fights at the bus stop probably once every two weeks or so. Got beat up pretty bad when we had deep snow one time.

        Once I got home, I got a knife and a bat and went over to his house where he was outside with a neighbor. I chased that SOB around with a steak knife and a bat until he ran out of breath… didn’t hit him when he started crying and begging me not to hurt him; but I sure instilled the fear of god in him.

        He’s a Baltimore city police officer last I heard.

      • Goretantath@lemm.ee
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        4 days ago

        That policy lead to a LOT of abuse from the staff at my sped-ed school as-well. “You looked at me funny? Calls timeout staff to drag you by each of your limbs to the carpeted room

      • Omgpwnies@lemmy.world
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        3 days ago

        My high school in the latter half of the 90’s tried zero tolerance… briefly. Fighting got worse under the policy, cuz us kids figured if we’re gonna catch a suspension, might as well earn it.

      • Phoenicianpirate@lemm.ee
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        4 days ago

        And the people responsible for that were thr columbine shooters, who were actually remarkably aggressive bullies themselves and not the victims people make them out to be.

    • KingPorkChop@lemmy.ca
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      4 days ago

      I’m old enough to remember when the advice people gave to deal with a bully was “Beat their ass and they’ll stop.”

      Our method was to covertly fuck with them.

      They were bigger and could beat the shit out of us, but once we learned the location of their locker in gym class, they often left gym selling of various old lady perfumes.

      They dominated the kickball field - sneak into the supply closet and slash the kickballs.

      We’d turn our papers in at the teachers desk as we left for lunch. Sneak back in later when the teacher is away and steal the bully papers.

      The beauty is they feel like the world is out for them. They either lash out and fuck up big time or fall in line.