Enlightenment, spirituality, faith — there’s nothing wrong with these things.
Organized Christianity is a social climbing scheme for people who desperately want to get away with never needing to truly outgrow their dysfunction. That’s why organized Christianity is popular with bigots, abusers, and people who hate the mirror.
The best I can do to make sense of what you’re saying is that you’re looking at some of the worst of church leaders (eg. MAGA pastors in America, historical popes, etc), and seeing Christianity as that. If I’ve got that wrong, please correct me.
If that’s what you’re saying, that’s a massive over generalization, to the point where it’s willful. I do agree that there are church leaders out there who see leading a congregation purely as a way to gain some authority, but that is far from all of Christianity.
You’re 100% right: this is the best you can do.
Sad