I was hoping they could wait a few more years so I’d be too old to be drafted, but looks like I’ll be twerking in Tehran

Sorry forgot about the nuclear bit of the bomb. Regardless, I want to be drafted into the psychic corps for the upcoming world war regardless of talent

Goodbye Hormuz, I mean, why wouldn’t they?

Well, they did it. Now Iran will lash out and close the straits of Hormuz. It’s the only threat that they can carry out now…

An obituary?

Well…

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/redback-spider-snake-australia-eastern-brown-deadly-venom-a8811046.html

Those superstitious barbarians just needed enlightenment… where have I heard that before?

Royl Cohn taught him well

I was about to say, i could sell my alcoholism as demon repellent

They could just say they’ll get rid of it and start a sales tax instead.

But honestly the whole thing is just an excuse anyway

Maybe he should just tattoo legally brown on his forearm may be have a microchip inserted for extra insurance

The CIA have their fingerprints all over it, also the UN is the imperialists lap dog.

Even easier if you have 2. One for clean and one for dirty, frees up cupboard space as well

The tackiness isn’t the issue, it could be covered in bright pink fur and that still shouldn’t be the main story

This is like asking your mum if you’re handsome, then telling your friends

People interested in cars have been scratching our heads with Tesla for years. Like at one point it was worth more than every other car market combined and its value kept going up. I mean there seems like years of irrational prices to the point it would be silly to bet against it

Don’t live in the US, but you’d probably have to pay me to be seen driving one of those. I can afford not to and dignity has a price

Wow, you solved it. Now all you need to do is give that spiel and all teenagers will become straight A students

Every soldier in that parade should get a medal saying they served there on that day. The amount of brass in bins will tell Trump everything he needs to know

On the other hand Bradley’s are doing quite well, so maybe a heavier Bradley would work well